country girl's modesty guidelines:
1. Basically, my main rule for any and all tops is that if anybody can easily see any cleavage, or if I'm constantly needing to pull my shirt up higher (a tacky practice if you ask me), or if the arm holes are so big they can see my bra, I shouldn't be wearing it.
2. How low can a top be? Well, I like to place my hand on my chest with my top finger resting on or right below my collarbone. Four fingers down is the lowest I would ever go. But if the shirt is still loose and lets everyone see my chest when I bend over, it's no good.
3. Let's talk tank tops! I adore tank tops; I'm actually wearing one right now as I write this! But they're tricky little things, aren't they? Last summer when I played volleyball every week, that really helped determine which tank tops were okay and which ones weren't. If I could easily play volleyball (which includes jumping around, lifting my arms, bending over and diving) without showing off anything underneath my tank, then it passed the test. If not, usually slipping on a cami underneath my tank fixes the problem; it closes up the arm holes, raises the neckline, and tucks nicely into my pants, keeping my belly and back covered. Make sure, though, that the tank's shoulders are wide enough so that your bra straps are always covered. Also, a lot of tank tops are made to fit snugly, so ask your dad if they accentuate your chest too much.
4. Speaking of which, how tight is too tight? Of course, we all want to wear clothes that flatter our figure, but we also shouldn't draw attention to more private areas. If your shirt is pulled way too tightly across your chest, then eyes will be drawn to your chest. If the shirt is so snug it creates gathering across your chest or you can see the definition of your bra, it is too tight. If in doubt, however, the best way to determine whether a shirt is too tight or not is to ask your dad.
5. I love T-shirts with wording on them. But certain kinds of wording are not okay. If the wording on the front of your shirt goes right across your chest, then it draws eyes directly where their eyes should not be! Let me give you a picture for this one. I own and LOVE this shirt:
Notice how the majority of the wording is down low? That's good! It's not all concentrated right across your chest. So if you see a T-shirt with wording, make sure the wording doesn't draw eyes to the wrong place.
6. Halter tops aren't a good idea. They show off way too much shoulder and back. And strapless shirts? Um, no.
7. What about shirts that hang off one shoulder? Well, sometimes this can look really cute, but I've come to the conclusion that they're not okay. They usually always reveal your bra, and the whole image of that is just tacky. It's like you're giving all the guys around you a "peek" and tempting them to want to see more. We don't want that, gals!
pants, shorts, and skirts -
1. First of all, the question of all questions... how short can skirts and shorts be? My family's guideline for this is and always has been: at the knee. No skirts and shorts can be higher than right at my knee. (And does anyone else besides me think that the shorts that are like three inches long are just ridiculous-looking?)
2. Jeans! Dun-dun-dunnnnn! Jeans are officially my favorite article of clothing. I live in jeans, I have been known to sleep in jeans (my friend Jordan almost fainted when I told her that). Jeans are my favorites! BUT, I also have to be cautious when choosing my jeans. Jeans that are way too snug around your bottom are not a good idea. Like the wrong kind of wording on T-shirts, they will draw eyes to the wrong place. I always model any jeans I bring home for my dad; if he gives them the "safe for guys" approval, I can keep 'em. Also, it's a good idea to choose jeans that don't have loud, blingy designs right on the back pockets. If you have a huge, sequined design right across your bottom, where are people gonna look? And finally, make sure the waist of your jeans is high enough to where you don't show off your back when you bend over. If this is a problem, tuck your shirt in.
3. Leggings are so in right now! It's all the rage to don a mini skirt or a really short dress and then throw on some leggings under them. That makes the mini skirt modest, right? Well... my dad once told me something about this look that every girl on earth needs to hear! Are you ready for this? Well, he said that in a guy's mind, leggings are so skin-tight on a girl's legs, that they might as well not even be there. Did you hear that? When a guy sees a girl wearing a mini skirt with leggings, the leggings, which show off every curve and detail of the girl's legs, are invisible to him. You might as well just wear the mini skirt by itself! I didn't make this up; I heard this straight from a guy! So... what do I do about leggings? Oh, I wear them! But I only wear them under skirts and dresses that are long enough (reminder: at the knee!) to be worn by themselves. For instance, I have a really cute striped summer dress that goes right to my knee. Most of the time, I just wear it by itself, but other times I feel like mixing it up a bit, so I throw on some leggings underneath for a different look.
4. What about skinny jeans? Well, the rules about leggings pretty much work for skinny jeans too. I have a pair of denim skinny jeans, and I adore them. BUT, they're not the skin-tight skinny jeans. They are loose enough to avoid showing off my legs in full detail, but still snug enough to be flattering (who wants saggy drawers?).
5. Lots of girls love to wear jeans with holes. While these aren't exactly my thing, I don't really have a problem with them, EXCEPT when the holes are really high up on your leg and so huge that a good portion of your leg is exposed. I mean, come on, if you're wearing pants that are so shredded you can see everything underneath, you might as well walk around with no pants at all.
6. Do I even need to discuss those pants that have wording right across your rear end? Nah, I didn't think so.
7. Slits in skirts and dresses can't go past my knee.
The biggest thing you need to remember when choosing your outfits is that boys/men think and see differently than we do. We might think an outfit is totally fine, but in reality, we may be causing our brothers in Christ to stumble. We can't always imagine how what we are wearing might affect them, so please, ladies, if ever you are in doubt about an outfit, ask your dad. And trust him! He knows of what he speaks.
I hope all of these guidelines will help you in your quest to dress like royalty. However, true modesty really comes down to is what's inside. What about your heart?
Whenever you pick up an article of clothing, you need to ask yourself questions like these:
Why do I want to wear this?
Am I hoping this piece of clothing will draw eyes to my figure?
Am I wearing this in the hope that some guy will notice how cute I look?
Am I wearing this just to get people to notice me, or to see what kind of reaction I'll get?
Am I seeking to honor God by this clothing choice? Am I dressing like royalty?
That, my dears, is what true modesty is! Modesty of the heart.
"And let not your adornment be merely external - braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God."
- 1 Peter 3:3
Well, there ya have it!
Again, if I missed anything, or if you have any questions about modesty, leave me a comment and I'll get back with you! I promise. If I get enough questions, I may do a Modesty Q&A post!
(p.s. in this post, i discussed a lot of different looks and outfits. if you like, [although i can't promise how quickly i will be able to do this] i can take pictures of me in some of my favorite outfits from my closet, so as to demonstrate some of things i discussed. anyone interested? please give feedback!)
farewell, my fellow princesses.